Summit-Fi Random Thoughts
May 15, 2024 at 12:51 AM Post #586 of 767
Happiness, which is extremely rare in my life. I don’t even know if happiness is the answer to life’s mysteries, but it feels good. Are we just some mindless apes chasing happiness at all costs? That’s the question I’m faced with. Is happiness the answer, or do I just wait to die? I learned the secrets of the universe at like 22. It made me exceptionally smarter. Nobody could beat be in a debate. I got straight As all through grad school, on to my PhD as well. Nobody could fukc with me. But once you learn the secrets of the universe it makes you a nihilist. Nothing matters, it’s just a sliver of infinity. So, what’s the answer, when I was sober, it was chasing material things. When I started drinking again it was about personal connections. I told the rehab people today, I’m just a bad person sober. I come from 2 legit bad parents, so it’s only expected that I’d be bad too. I’m super negative. I’m on the left hand path for real. I start drinking and I’m a different person. I like to hang out with people a do fun things. I’m back into dating. Those are all positives, but they are the result of drinking. I didn’t do any of that sh!t when I was sober for 5 years. It was misery. I just wanted to die and was waiting for it. Now I want to live an experience children and love. It’s opened a new door for me, but at the cost of abusing alcohol too much. It’s a no-win situation. I’m fukced either way.
When looking for happiness, you have to ask the question what defines happiness for you? The problem of thinkers and smart people is that the overwhelming data and emotions they deal with tend to mix up. You feel your data and you rationalize your emotions. That’s just creating problems where there are none.

If you know the answer to secrets in the universe, then tell me why you cannot consistently find happiness for yourself?

For many happiness is the absence of pain, suffering, and negativity. But is that truly happiness?
 
May 15, 2024 at 9:19 AM Post #587 of 767
Happiness, which is extremely rare in my life. I don’t even know if happiness is the answer to life’s mysteries, but it feels good. Are we just some mindless apes chasing happiness at all costs? That’s the question I’m faced with. Is happiness the answer, or do I just wait to die? I learned the secrets of the universe at like 22. It made me exceptionally smarter. Nobody could beat be in a debate. I got straight As all through grad school, on to my PhD as well. Nobody could fukc with me. But once you learn the secrets of the universe it makes you a nihilist. Nothing matters, it’s just a sliver of infinity. So, what’s the answer, when I was sober, it was chasing material things. When I started drinking again it was about personal connections. I told the rehab people today, I’m just a bad person sober. I come from 2 legit bad parents, so it’s only expected that I’d be bad too. I’m super negative. I’m on the left hand path for real. I start drinking and I’m a different person. I like to hang out with people a do fun things. I’m back into dating. Those are all positives, but they are the result of drinking. I didn’t do any of that sh!t when I was sober for 5 years. It was misery. I just wanted to die and was waiting for it. Now I want to live an experience children and love. It’s opened a new door for me, but at the cost of abusing alcohol too much. It’s a no-win situation. I’m fukced either way.

You should try intense exercise and lifting weights, also mountain biking is awesome. I go all the time, you need to get something to drop endorphins in your brain besides alcohol.
 
May 15, 2024 at 12:18 PM Post #588 of 767
You should try intense exercise and lifting weights, also mountain biking is awesome. I go all the time, you need to get something to drop endorphins in your brain besides alcohol.
True you could obsess on making gainz and lifting weights.
Besides the natural endorphins after a Workout you also get the satisfaction of progress and achieving something. Especially in the beginning strength increases fast.

And as a side effect, drinking Alcohol is in direct conflict with the Sport, further motivating you to stay sober.

Personally I'd also say it's a ton of fun, but most of my friends disagree, therefore I wouldn't make any promises there
 
May 15, 2024 at 4:50 PM Post #589 of 767
Head-fi is such a better option to sell sh!t than TMR. I just sold 3 headphones in like 4 hours. It's a good community, you just gotta price it low. Low is better than TMR 🤷‍♂️
 
May 15, 2024 at 4:52 PM Post #590 of 767
I've been drinking all day listening to Future and 42 Dugg :L3000:

Something about some types of music hypes you up. The rehab place called me today offering detox. :deadhorse: They are just into making money. I need to find a better place. I need to find a place that is into moderation. I think moderation is the key. Sober life is :deadhorse:, drunk life is :deadhorse:, so the answer must be moderation. :thinking:
 
May 15, 2024 at 5:43 PM Post #591 of 767
I wasn’t going to wade into mental health and addiction, it’s way too personal. But moderation can work, but for us addicts, weather it’s booze or weed, moderation will only work with external 3rd person involvement, aka girlfriend, wife. Moderating through self control, forget it, at least from my perspective. I am on a strict schedule of dosage with only 3 days a week of consumption with regulated doses in time and size. It must seem ridiculous to outsiders but I have voluntary been unemployed for over 20 years, so maintaining moderation in lieu of addiction was/is imperative for survival.
Soooo good luck your working through it. Probably at negotiation stage
 
May 15, 2024 at 5:48 PM Post #592 of 767
I wasn’t going to wade into mental health and addiction, it’s way too personal. But moderation can work, but for us addicts, weather it’s booze or weed, moderation will only work with external 3rd person involvement, aka girlfriend, wife. Moderating through self control, forget it, at least from my perspective. I am on a strict schedule of dosage with only 3 days a week of consumption with regulated doses in time and size. It must seem ridiculous to outsiders but I have voluntary been unemployed for over 20 years, so maintaining moderation in lieu of addiction was/is imperative for survival.
Soooo good luck your working through it. Probably at negotiation stage
Moderation seems like the good answer. Being completely sober is terrible; it ruined my life :deadhorse:

But being drunk all the time is also bad :deadhorse:

I need some place to teach me moderation. That would be ideal. I gotta a problem that needs solving. What that answer is, I dunno. I don't want to be that happy hippy listening to the Dead all the time, if you know what I mean (and I love the Dead).

Maybe I'll just smoke weed all day again like I did in the past. It's at least non-addictive. I need something. If that something is working out and running, then it's it. If that something is smoking weed all day then that's it. I dunno what the answer is, which leaves me very confused.
 
May 15, 2024 at 5:51 PM Post #593 of 767
To keep in music related, I've been listening to nothing but negative hip-hop and satanic metal the last few days. Nothing but negativity. I don't even understand the positive side of things. Just satan and drugs/alcohol. I might die soon, so, this is probably not the way to live. But, fukc all that sh!t, we are on our own path.
 
May 15, 2024 at 6:13 PM Post #594 of 767
Moderation seems like the good answer. Being completely sober is terrible; it ruined my life :deadhorse:

But being drunk all the time is also bad :deadhorse:

I need some place to teach me moderation. That would be ideal. I gotta a problem that needs solving. What that answer is, I dunno. I don't want to be that happy hippy listening to the Dead all the time, if you know what I mean (and I love the Dead).

Maybe I'll just smoke weed all day again like I did in the past. It's at least non-addictive. I need something. If that something is working out and running, then it's it. If that something is smoking weed all day then that's it. I dunno what the answer is, which leaves me very confused.
Dude it’s weed that is my addiction. So no, it’s not an answer, unless one isn’t addicted to it. I’m not addicted to alcohol, I may have abused it in my 20’s but didn’t enjoy it enough, it’s to painful next day, etc. one can’t replace one addiction with another….
 
May 15, 2024 at 9:40 PM Post #595 of 767
I've been reading this thread on the sidelines with some fascination. I've suffered depression and had multiple suicide attempts in my 20s. Everyones path to happiness is different as it's individually defined, but I overcame heavy alcohol use by throwing my addiction into running. It helped divert my addictive personality from alcohol to something that required intense effort.

I recall reading an article a couple years back about how running is very effective for those with addictive personalities overcoming drugs and alcohol. From what you say I'm not sure you want to "overcome" alcohol dependence, but I think running is a better addictive outlet than alcohol. Maybe it could become a drop-in replacement for the positive things you believe alcohol consumption brings you. Runner's high is real.

I've tapered down my running in the last few years but if you want to go for a run sometime let me know. We can run the Memorial loop.
 
May 15, 2024 at 10:26 PM Post #596 of 767
I've been reading this thread on the sidelines with some fascination. I've suffered depression and had multiple suicide attempts in my 20s. Everyones path to happiness is different as it's individually defined, but I overcame heavy alcohol use by throwing my addiction into running. It helped divert my addictive personality from alcohol to something that required intense effort.

I recall reading an article a couple years back about how running is very effective for those with addictive personalities overcoming drugs and alcohol. From what you say I'm not sure you want to "overcome" alcohol dependence, but I think running is a better addictive outlet than alcohol. Maybe it could become a drop-in replacement for the positive things you believe alcohol consumption brings you. Runner's high is real.

I've tapered down my running in the last few years but if you want to go for a run sometime let me know. We can run the Memorial loop.
Somebody else close to me recommended running. Thing is, my lungs are fukced. I can't run, but I can walk. I can workout just fine, because it's just a minute of intense pushing. Then I can catch up for a minute and do another set. Running might be too much for me. My life might be coming to an end, but I do like to exercise because, why not? It makes me look better, and I can look better for potential partners. I'm vain in that sort of way. I want to look the best for my potential partner. My current girl likes me, so I must be doing something good, but there are other complications (aside from drinking too much). Vanity over health :imp:
 
May 15, 2024 at 10:58 PM Post #597 of 767
Listening to Gorgoroth isn't helping my mood :beyersmile:

Maybe negative music is bad for you....:beyersmile::metal::pill:

The moment I change to positive music, is the moment I've become a different person. :beyersmile:

Music is a powerful thing. It can really adjust your mood and wellbeing. It's what got be into the audiophile world. I'm like, I like music, so why shouldn't I have the best setup possible? Then thousands and tens of thousands of dollars later, I'm here...
 
May 16, 2024 at 1:13 AM Post #598 of 767
Listening to Gorgoroth isn't helping my mood :beyersmile:

Maybe negative music is bad for you....:beyersmile::metal::pill:

The moment I change to positive music, is the moment I've become a different person. :beyersmile:

Music is a powerful thing. It can really adjust your mood and wellbeing. It's what got be into the audiophile world. I'm like, I like music, so why shouldn't I have the best setup possible? Then thousands and tens of thousands of dollars later, I'm here...
Well. If a great audio system can influence so much that means negative music can worsen your mood even more than normal. Such a scary double edged sword. Maybe it’s even better if you play an instrument and create your own music?
 
May 16, 2024 at 4:24 PM Post #599 of 767
Well. If a great audio system can influence so much that means negative music can worsen your mood even more than normal. Such a scary double edged sword. Maybe it’s even better if you play an instrument and create your own music?
It probably healthier and what not. I'm about health, but also not about health at the same time. I make beats, which I think are pretty good, on my phone. That outlet is nice. It's just that negative music has helped me through the hard times, so I'm not really ready to let it go just yet. It'll take a big change in me. I might need that change, but my brain is resisting. How can you let something that has been apart of you since you were 16 just go away that easily? I relish the negativity. I thrive in the negativity. The negativity brings me joy. Getting rid of all of that is difficult. I know I've been oversharing, but it's real. That's just the reality of things.

We take music seriously in the audiophile world, or else we wouldn't be audiophiles. 🤷‍♂️ I take music very seriously. If somebody tells me to stop with the negative music, I immediately want to push back. But multiple people, and doctors, have told me that negative music is detrimental to my health. Are they right? I dunno.

To keep it music related, the TCs are the ultimate negative headphones. V shaped, listening to satanic metal and negative hip-hop. The TCs are on the left hand path. They are into negativity. I love them because of that. It fits negative music so well. The Sus is well, not as negative. It's cold, but in a good way. It works with negative music, but at the same time works with more positive music as well. The laid-back nature of the Sus works well with all genres. If I had to pick the best headphones one can buy, it would be the Susvara, even though I prefer the 1266 TCs. If I'm to change my mood and state of being, the Sus would be a good choice. The TCs are dark, heavy, ready for that negative sh!t. They make negative rap and metal sound so good, but they are biased. They are V-shaped. The Sus is not.

Maybe in 5-10 years, if I'm still alive, the Sus will still be king. It's the best pair of headphones in my opinion. I love my TCs, but the Sus is just better. The TCs are still my favorite pair of headphones ever, but I can recognize the Sus for it's brilliance. Fukc stats, fukc ribbons, fukc all that other sh!t, just get the Sus. If you are into aggressive, negative, music, then get the TCs as well.
 
May 16, 2024 at 4:33 PM Post #600 of 767
Also, I've come to realize that anybody telling you that the Sus or TCs aren't the answer is making a judgement based on bad faith :beyersmile:

I've owned everything (except for the Imannis...still waiting), but the Sus and the TCs are the answer. Everything else is a compromise. If somebody comes to me with $50k, I'm having them buy the TCs and Sus and then the amp and dac of their choice. Amps and dacs can be tricky....I'm still in that boat as well, but the Sus/TC combo can't be beat. It's the best combo in all of head-fi, even considering the HE-1 and Shang Sr. If you want a one and done thing, the Sus and TC are the headphones to get 🤷‍♂️
 

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